Mars

This afternoon, before we closed, I saw that the sky was sort of pink orange...

Unusual, but definitely interesting and beautiful. It was bright pink with shades of dark orange, and then below it were the crazy, curly clouds...

I gazed at it for a while and thought, "This must be the work of the Sun beginning to set".

But really, the thought was, "The Sun must be in a swinggy mood today."

After all, everybody in Ubas St. is in their very festive mood.

The Sun might have felt it too, right?

(Too bad, i ddnt have my camera with me at work)

The Colorful Tree That Lights Up At Night

Whilst the darkness fills up my once blue sky,

you light up just like that;

and throw beautiful colors to the black earth.

You uplift the worn-out-for-the-day twirlie somehow.

jane doe

I wish to thank RJ of RJTV.

When I went out of my room this morning, I saw Jane from the other room. Her door was slightly ajar and I saw her looking intently on the TV screen. I could only see Jane's side view but I noticed a smile on her face. I could see her eyes getting chinky again from smiling. So I had to get a little closer.

And voila, Jane was watching Danny Osmond and Tom Jones on RJ TV! So that's why she was smiling. The song may have reminded her of her bagets days or even her colegiala days. I thought, "Wow, in a few years, when i'd have my own kids, I'd be like Jane also, secretly smiling and stealing some alone time."

It was pleasant to see Jane that way. Well, Jane is a bubbly lady, but most of the time, you'd see Jane busy with work and with her family. So really, having some quality time alone is something I rarely see Jane does.

And this is exactly why I want to thank RJ of RJTV.

I love seeing my mom super relaxed and just having some fine time.

=)

I Hope Always

Sometimes, I'd like to think it's just there, right across the street. And whenever you need and want it, you'd just walk over there; knock on its door, read a magazine on the patio while drinking lemonade; and well, just gaze at the bright blue sky and drink some more.

Sometimes, it's nice to think that way.

I guess so.

The truth is I gave my heart away a long time ago, my whole heart, and I never really got it back.

from Sweet Home Alabama.

There.

Whenever I read your letter, I feel so light
and happy and dreamy again, completely forgetting
that I am, well, not in my "swing out sister" mode...

However, after reading it, reality will sink in,
as if it punched me in my stomach,
making me throw up the "happy swing out sister" mode I felt moments ago.

The letter is from the past.
It won't ever come back.
It won't ever come true.

He said,

"I guess the ground can shift beneath your feet, sometimes your footing slips, you stumble and sometimes, you grab what is closest to you and hold on to that as tight as you can..."
- K.A.

You are holding on to that for too long now. Do you wish to loosen your grasp anytime soon?

HBD!

22... 23.... 24.... 25... 26..... 27!

Great oddballs.

Time does fly fast. But hoh noh, there is absolulely no room here for regrets, just high dosages of happy pills.

Ika nga ni Banana, "You should be dancing, cartwheels all around. You're 27 and still alive!" Hahahah.

I guess that's what will I be doing tonight! DANCE and DRINK and CELEBRATE!

Happy Birthday Janice M. Marasigan!!!

Bente Siete ka na!!! Let's put our hopes up this year!!!!! And I promise to do better!

Let's just go go go, love, love, love, live, live, live!!!!

Monologue Part I dont know

Bakit ba ganon? Kahit anong gawin mong paraan para makalimutan ang isang bagay, hinding hindi mo pa rin iyon magawa. Ilang beses ka na nangako, ilang beses ka na sumumpa na hindi mo na ito pag-uukulan ng pansin, pero bakit ganyan ka pa rin?

Ano pa ang hinihintay mo? Huwag mong pilitin ang ayaw, huwag mong pilitin ang mundo na umikot para sa'yo lang.

Kailan ka ba makakalimot? Kailan ka makakapagbago?

Motto of the season

Been a while...

Ang sabe nung pari nung linggo:

"Magtiyaga sa kasalukuyan, para maging masaya sa kinabukasan..."

Sige, sige, 'yan mismo ang gagawin ko Father, kahit mahirap, pero dahil malaki ang pananampalataya ko na may magandang future para sa aken, magtyatyaga muna ako ngayon.

Ano ba naman ang kaunting bitterness kung ang kapalit naman ay 'sangkatutak na happy pills?

Parallel Parking

I hardly parallel park. It’s intense, it’s crazy, it’s tricky.

Parallel parking requires approximation, which has to be near exact and near perfect -- making it seem like that space is totally meant for your car; like you own that space and that space belongs to you, and to you alone.

So this is why I hardly parallel park.

I barely make a space my own. In addition to this, I find it difficult to recall a time when a certain space is perfect and just right for me.

I sometimes go round and round the streets, wasting my gas, desperately searching for a little space that’s not challenging – a space that won’t demand much from my poor approximation skills.

I get lucky sometimes; I occasionally spot a space nice enough. However, as much as I want to make this space my own, some things get in the way -- things that are difficult to deal with and apparently menacing.

I don’t like that. I need a space that’s just right; that no matter how inexperienced I am in terms of parallel parking, that space still belongs to me and to me alone.

And this is why I hardly parallel park.

I cannot find my own perfect parking space.

jan and janice talking

While looking for a place to eat, Janice spotted some medical students in their usual all-white uniform.

“Jan, ano kaya kung mag-doctor ako?”

“O eh di siguradong macre-credit lahat ng subjects naten nung college!”

Jan and Janice took up Communication Arts and Advertising in MC six years ago. The only science subject they had was Biology, and it was only a minor subject.

Hmmm, should Janice pursue her dream of becoming a doctor, it would take her additional 8 to 10 years in school.

So Janice decided to drop the subject. She couldn’t and wouldn’t study that long again.

It’s just so long for her.

So what else could Jan and Janice do in their idle time? They don’t know yet.

They never liked idle time, especially Jan.

Idle time is for young adults.

360 Degrees

When you think all the things you want from this world are already within reach, think again.

There would be times when your supposed big leap would turn out to be a giant back step; Or when you thought you were right there, stepping on top of your big dream cloud, you'd suddenly feel a slow churn climbing up from the soles of your feet to the core of your heart; after a while, you would feel nauseated and would decide to come down from your dreamboat.

Or a very basic example like, one night, you prepared the clothes you would wear for work the next day, but morning came and then you decided to pick out a completely different wardrobe.

When your mind is set to doing something; when you are so focused on what you need to achieve and who you want to become; or when you believe that all certain things are right and perfect for you, why does, without any disclaimer at all, a feeling of doubt cross your little perfect world and disrupt you, one way or another?

Why the sudden revolution? Why the abrupt endings or the unexpected actions and super impulsive decisions? Why do they happen? Did we just wake up and find out that this was not healthy anymore? How can we ever cope up? And how can we know that this whole reinvention is best for us?

As for me, the feeling will either leave you with a big hole in your chest, making you so empty and sullen for disappointing yourself or the other people; or give you a taste of peace for freeing yourself from the trap you hardly knew you were in.

I learned that changes are bound to happen. It just depends on us; on how we are going to entertain or not entertain them. They bump into you because you may need more in your life, you may need growth. You may need to breathe a newer, fresher air.

We come down from our dreamboats from time to time. It’s not bad. It’s normal.

We change our minds. We change our lives. We change ourselves.

Guess no one stays the same after all.

END!

Pinoy Titans

This evening, I got my first dose of happy cells. Finally.

And it darn felt so good!

Until now, I am still high on happy hormones. As happiness is a bit scarce lately, what happened tonight was relieving and definitely included in my a-list of happy thoughts.

So what happened?

Team VPR won the first basketball game tonight. And I am so proud of my boys! Good thing I brought my red tambourine and my very promising red and yellow pom-poms. I think i yelled my lungs out during the game together with the girls. But who cares? This is my first hooray after the sad event and I had so much fun.

First hoorays don't happen to most people, maybe they do, but it can hardly be considered as a first hooray. I am glad it did to me and it was real. It felt beautiful. I so wish for another hooray. Maybe... if I can feed myself with so many hoorays, the other stuff may just dissolve and leave me feeling light again. This lightness that I always associated myself too before. Because now, I am so aging with gloominess. I think I sometimes drag myself to something. There is no more the willingness and the energy to do it. I don' t like that. That is why when I watched the game tonight, I had a feeling of lightness once again. It may be because my team won, but more importantly, I experienced a change. No more thinkathon series after work. No TV to entertain you on a boring friday night. But a few hours of cheering for my team... and cheering for myself I guess - for surviving, for staying sane and strong.

It was heavenly. Great balls.

Pumarada na ang Kuchero.

when I don't think it's fair,
when I hardly feel anything.
when I became so strange
when I became so stupid.
when I just cannot think.

Cocoy is Here

I wonder how Baby Cocoy can transform our super busy and chaotic household into a warm and peaceful home....

I very much look forward to it. :D

Not Jason Castro!

I would be very heartbroken if Jason would leave American Idol tomorrow night. But I am getting ready.

Why was he so stupid to forget the lyrics of the song? And why did he choose that song in the first place? It had no recall, no appeal at all.

But still, I would love him to be in the Final Three..

Magmimiracle kaya?

Not Jason Castro!

I would be so heartbroken if Jason Castro would leave American Idol tomorrow night.

Why was he so stupid to forget the lyrics of the song? And why did he choose that song in the first place? It had no recall, no appeal at all. Ischupid men.

April Sun

April is almost over,
My bright blue sky,
My sunshine,
My happy rays of the sun!

Rain is starting to pour every night.I never like the rainy season.
It's gloomy. Just sad.

I dreamed of summer as my happy thought.
I dreamed of April as my sole reinforcement.

But the cold wind of May,
and the strangeness of June,
They approach me fast and
cunning.

I want the Sun to embrace me with warmth,
to kiss my nose and say,
"I won't hide beneath the clouds".

I want the Sun to burn it -
until it turns into ash...
So I can blow it away.

So even if May and June come,
I will be alright.

Masaya Ba?

Paano mo malalaman kung tama ang naging desisyon mo?
Kailangan bang maging magaan ang pakiramdam pagkatapos mo ito
mapagdesisyunan?
Paano kung sa una magaan ito sa pakiramdam?
Pero sa kalaunan naman ay magiging pabigat na rin ito?
Ibig sabihin ba noon ay hindi tama ang iyong desisyon?
Paano mo malalaman kung tama ang naging desisyon mo?
O malalaman mo pa ba kung ito ay tama o mali?
Paano nga ba?
Paano ka pipili?
Ano ang gagawin mo?