Hub

Welcome to my hub.

I wake up at 6am now and leave the house by 7am. Ten months ago, waking up at 6am and leaving the house after an hour was a big no-no. Pinagpapawisan nako ng malamig noon while tightly clutching the steering wheel of my car kapag ito ang nagiging scenario ten months ago.

But look at me now, kahit 6:30am magising, walang kakaba-kaba, relaxed pa rin, and at the same time thinking about the grace period we have at work. Buti na lang.

I seldom dress up great now. Ten months ago, I was very particular with what I would be wearing.

And my plan of posting pictures and putting personal stuffs on my desk before is no more a plan. It’s now absolutely not in my to-do / things to achieve list. Totally scraped out. I realized that a clean desk was the way to go to a clearer mind. Kapag wala mashado abubot, makakapagdecide ka agad sa mga bagay-bagay, wala ka mashado bagahe, wala ka mashado kelangan I-consider.

At work, I just do what is told. Magcheck ng email right away. Kumuha ng ten pesos na coins sa wallet at magvendo ng latte or milo. Tapos magcheck ulet ng email. Tapos I will check out my blog, see if someone posts a comment or see my friends’ blogs. Tapos pag sawa na, I will check my yahoo email. Mag-erase ng bulk at mag-empty ng trash. Tapos magpapatugtog ng Canon in D Major at ng Love Affair theme sa PC. Or if I didn’t forget to bring along my CDs, I will be a DJ in my corner and play all the songs that will at least make me feel good. Joss Stone, Kitchie, Cynthia Alexander and Session Road are my hit makers here.

Kung may event, sige bira. Kung may bagong project, sige bira lang. Kung may kailangan kausapin, sige lang. I just tell myself that being productive is something I should be thankful for. Mabobobo naman ako kung wala akong gagawin. AT ika nga ni Mina, wag tayong ingrata, I still want to contribute something in the productivity rate of this company. Oh well. Isa na ata ako sa madaming tao dito sa Pilipinas na nagtratrabaho kase kelangan magkapera at may magawa sa buhay. Gusto ko sana mapabilang sa mga tao who do their jobs because it’s their passion, it’s the job they have always dreamed of.

Why do I always end up like this? This was also the reason why I left previous employer. Do I always have to explore? When will I stop and be contented with what I have? Does this have to do with me being young and living life to its fullest potential? Is this normal? Ano ba talaga ang hanap ko? Experience? Pera? Ano?

Kapag kelangan ko ng reinforcement, andyan ang YM to let out my angsts and sad thoughts to my online buds. Unfortunately, the YM connection here at work has been cut off. But there’s always email. So there, I hang on to the thinnest thread of hope and patience my alter ego has been fabricating for me. And of course, there’s PS I always look forward to see every 5:30 in the afternoon. I love 5:30pm, the only time I feel so alive. And the Friday football of course. Four days na lang at makakapagsoccer na ulet ako. Sana lagi na lang Friday. Sana laging 5:30, para makakauwi na ako, tapos makakasama ko na si PS, tapos I can walk Sam na, tapos I can sleep na and well, wish that the next day will be a better day. Or sana, I can watch movies and have coffee with the goddesses. (anyhoo, this is the bum in me talking, pero I would love to do this...)

I need some fresh air. May alam ba kayo?

But then, ST lang daw ang kailangan. Hmmm… Sipag at Tiyaga...