Heavy

When bad days happen, I really do try to choose to be happy and conjure a wild idea that nothing can ever be worse; and well, tomorrow's going to be okay.

But today, I cannot even fake a smile.

It's Murphy's Law to the nth level I guess.

Cradle Me, I'll Cradle You

And yes, when we first met, when you first went to grapes street, I knew already there was something ahead of us and it was something bigger than we could ever, ever, ever imagine.

Nakakatuwa. :-)

Thanks JC.

Sunday Afternoon Post

It was raining, there was nothing good on TV.

I didn't like the idea of sleeping the whole afternoon off.

When this is the only time that there is no work,

You would kind of think twice to sleep,

Although the weather seems to be calling for it.

So I did what I have been meaning to do,

CLEAN UP!

The mother was of course delighted,

She said this only happens ONCE a year.

and she's glad it's happened now.

(and the room badly needs a good cleanup! )

There, I moved all the heavy storage,

Took a rug and started mopping,

Got a broom and started sweeping,

Two hours and some minutes after,

The room can finally breathe again.

My back ached after.

But it was all okay,

Sometimes, you need to do things

you don't normally do.

Sometimes, no matter how difficult

it can be,

You push your luck, you gather up

all your guts, and you just do it!

To move forward, there is only thing

left to do,

as my French teacher always said

back in College,

"Move your pwet!"

No need to lie around, pretend all is ok.

"Move your pwet!"

The cleanup, however gloomy this afternoon was,

had turned the day bright and sunny.

And a Sun girl like me,

absolutely loved it.

Now what to do next?

Little Miracle

Always keep your eyes open to little miracles.

They are our automatic mood shifters.

Today, my little miracle is my quilt --

having it hand washed,

by me.

The quilt is almost ten times heavier

when it's wet. or even more?

And to wash it with bare hands can be due to the

following reasons:

1. no washer big enough to load it

2. sense of urgency, the sun's all up today, it'd

dry fast i can actually lie down on it tonight!

3. no more number 3 i think.

so there, i washed it. and no matter how heavy

it got, i didn't complain.

gusto ko siya maramdaman sa balat ko. mukang kumportable.

that same afternoon, it's already dried up :)

immediately, i removed my old bedsheets,

and hello there cozy quilt... :)

this entry may not even have a point,

but i do feel great whenever I lie down on my new quilt.

and what is the better feeling in this world,

than feeling great?

some travel to far places to feel great,

to feel at peace,

to be happy,

and to find who they truly are..

i haven't been to those places before,

but i do know how to get to my destination,

"handwash the quilt".

have a great week everyone. :)

swing two times

hello,

back in high school, there was some girl who called me up on the phone and cursed me. telling me to back off. the girl's voice was of course familiar, although i am quite sure it was one of her friends who really wanted to say those things to me. i never got afraid although it was my mom who was listening on the other line who cursed her back. i am never good in confrontations.

some years later, i got a phone call again, from another girl, telling me things. it hit me and after that call, i really cried.

some years later again, i received a call, and your guess is right, from a girl again. this time she was crying, asking if her boyfriend was with me (i used to give him rides). at that time i was driving, and i told her, "no". after some weeks they broke off. the guy asked me out and so I went.

then after several years, i came across someone who wrote me a letter telling me she wanted me to be her friend, and when i was about to reply, she was just... gone.. and that's the end of her.

those girls. in your life, it's not impossible to come across someone who can really weaken you, piss you off, or well, on the good side, inspire you. those girls probably loathe me, i don't know if they still do, but i'm sure they would never forget about me. and i would never either. those girls, they can be scared of you too.

all i know is, they're all from the past, old and dingy. and like what you do with your old stuff, either you throw or give them away, you bury them somewhere.

and then you step away.

sayang ang ganda ko.

at ang ganda mo.

=)

Heto Na

And so we are booked. :)

"magbukas ka NA ng tuna..." hehe.

Sorry, "Inuman Na" was the first song that came to mind. :)

But, yep yep, it's official.

(btw, a lot of things are meant to be blogged, however, my brain cells are not just working lately, i promise to come up with something more boring than this one, till then! )

naturalesa

naturalesa ko na ang maging maiinisin yata.

sabi ng mga kapatid ko, kaya daw "janice" ang pangalan ko,

kasi katunog daw iyon ng "inis". (medyo weird ang mga kapatid ko para isipin yon, charot)

sa tuwing hindi ko maintindihan ang mga lessons sa school,

sa tuwing hindi ko makuha kung paano naging ganoon ang sagot

sa isang Math problem,

sa tuwing hindi ko makuha ang tamang pagtupi ng papel

sa origami,

maiinis na ako agad. nakakatulog ako sa gabi na hindi nagagawa ang

mga assignments noon, dahil idinaan ko na lang sa iyak.

at pag dating ng umaga, inis na naman ulit ang paiiralin ko,

dahil hindi ko nagawa ang assignment,

dahil nainis nga ako noong kinagabihan.

at ang ganitong ugali ay kakambal ko kahit nung ako'y nasa kolehiyo na.

hanep ano? kapag naiisip ko iyon, naitatanong ko sa aking sarili,

"Pa'no ako nakapasa non??"

kahit ngayon, naiinis pa rin ako. sa mga direksyong mahaba at komplikado,

sa mga problemang masakit sa ulo,

sa mga pakiusap na malabo,

minsan, sa kahit ano lang.

kapag mainisin ka, wala ka na bang pasensya?

parang hindi naman yata?

ayokong magbuhat ng sariling bangko, pero yun nga, tingin ko nama'y

(medyo) pasensyosa ako.

may mga araw na nagigising akong parang naiinis,

ngunit may mga araw din na pinipilit kong piliin ang

huwag mainis,

ika ko nga kay rcm, sayang ang oras,

sayang ang pagkakataon

kung ibubuhos lang sa inis ang buong araw,

masakit pa sa ulo, kapag naiinis.

ang point ko lamang sa blog na ito ay

naturalesa ko nga siguro ang ma-stress paminsan-minsan,

ang mainis dahil sa isang malabong dahilan,

ngunit naturalesa ko rin ang bumawi,

ang magpakitang gilas sa aking sarili, na kaya kong hindi mainis

ng isang buong araw.

ngunit, sana, hindi na ako mabansagang "janice inis".

sayang ang magandang pangalan (hahaha!) kung may kasunod na ganyan.

yun lang :)

Thinkathon Marathon

Hello,

My elder sister, Jenny, is here in the island for the weekend. Cocoy, of course, is ecstatic -- the little boy controls his sleepiness and waits eagerly for his Tita Ninang Je.

While we are having our usual "blue couch" conversations, Ate Je said, "Kung may hindi na ako uulitin sa buhay ko, ito ay ang BAR Exams at ang pagpapakasal!". Don't get her wrong, although the two occasions bring so much joy to her, tension always seems to follow suit. And please don't think of regrets also :)

Hmm.. what about me? What are the happenings in my life that I won't ever go back to?

I am not married yet, and I think I would love to get married over and over again (to the same man of course).

I am no lawyer and I don't think I can ever pass the BAR exams, so okay :)

Ano nga ba?

I guess I don't want a part two of the breakups. Haha! The guys dumped me, left me for the lamest reasons. :) So there, I think I'm done with the frequent crushing of my heart, bursting of my dream bubble, stepping on my already non-existent ego, and wondering why!??!

Of course, there'd be no more chapter two of that 2005 flood here in the isla period. No more. No more. No more. That was one major blow in my jaw. TKO! :D

What else, I also don't want a rerun of the sudden losses of loved ones. I guess nobody wants that either... That year, we lost three... :(

And of course there were the mistakes and the confrontations at work and at home, but they didn't really sting me like the three I have mentioned. They may have been the worst three, but they actually brought me closer to my faith, to the original Supreme, and to my family.

Tragedies surround the world today, our country most of all, but like what my mom always tells me, "Kinukurot lang tayo ng Panginoon". Our Lord God is simply asking us to pray, to go back to His path, and to be more faithful. And to those worst three, you fed my gut with a lot of lessons..

Enjoy the rest of the weekend everyone.

Sister's Married!

Hello.

Yesterday, when i saw my elder sister, Ate Je, walked down the aisle, I fought some tears from ruining my non-waterproof mascara. But seriously, yes, it was very heartwarming. (and sobrang nakakaiyak, pero no no no!)

"Ato" aka "sis" aka "pining" is now married to her boyfriend of eleven years, James. They were classmates in DWCC highschool, and then James pursued her, et voila, ever since then, they've been a couple. (sorry for my very less creative write up, im writing all these down while my mind can still fight antok)

Anyway, there, my sister's married -- my sister who loves to twist my hair whenever we're watching TV (and then I'd fall asleep), my sister who buys me lunch and sometimes buys me bus and ferry tickets! :D , my sister who is my shopping buddy too, the sister who's strict but is also very sweet, she sometimes (or most of the time) is my yaya, hihi. And the sister who is part camel because whenever I take out a pitcher of water from the fridge, she'd drink all of it and I will be left with only 1/4 of the water and of course I will be mad (ayoko nalalamangan eh) and curse her, and then I'll get another pitcher of water and make sure she won't be able to reach it :).

Namimiss ko lang siguro 'yung luka luka kong ate. Hindi na kami tabi sa kama!

But I am sincerely happy for my sister. She's heading now to the book two of her life and there's nothing more I can say, but, I will always be her loyalist. :)

Take care sis :)

Ika nga ni Mam Jo (ang mother superiora aka madam pompador), "ikaw na lang ang single na babae sa bahay na to! hahahaha!" (bait nya ano?)

But I don't really mind. It's okay :)

Things I Thought Of While Cocoy's Asleep

1. He is at his cutest when he's asleep. Big plump cheeks, and those long eyelashes. Plus, when you smell him, he smells like baby powder. I want to squeeze him when he's sleeping but of course I always stop myself. (putting cocoy to sleep is a tedious job, so no-no)

2. I tried that Olay Day Cream -- our san jose cashier was using it and she was very blooming (in short, i got insecure, hehe), so i asked her if she was applying something on her face. "Mam, olay day cream po". THe next day, my sisters and I got one each for ourselves. The day after that, I used it, but hoh boy, I got mad rashes after. So okay... Good bye olay.

3. Today is saturday, but it didn't feel like a weekend. It felt like Monday. I think my weekend starts on a Sunday. So Yey, Sunday na bukas!

4. I am still 'high' on the romantic comedy flick, "Leap Year" (2010). I am kind of undecided whether the film's story is realistic or not. So let's see... The story's about a woman who was planning to propose to her boyfriend because he didn't propose to her but only to fall for someone (her guide to Dublin) she's only met for less than 24 hours (come on, as adorable as Goode, who wouldnt?). Can this happen? Well, I've fallen for someone I met online, so I guess this IS realistic. :-) and this really happens. Film directors and writers just have that innate knack on melting the audience's hearts. They give you the picture you want to see -- that happily ever after kind of picture, that falling in love is easy, etc etc. Oh well, all i know is this movie's a hit for me. Now i want to go to Ireland. hehehe.

5. Our lonesome male dog died a few days ago. His name was Sharp (yep, like the brand). Sharp is part Labrador, part Mongrel (askal!). He used to be matipuno. If I'm not mistaken, he was born seven years ago. Anyway, he died. He was sick, he's got scabbies even though he bathed everyday. Did I get sad? When my mom said, he was dead, yes, I felt sad. Wala na tuloy maingay dito sa bahay. Plus, kulang na sila. Because of that, I gave my good ole GSD, jet, some milk this afternoon. She's getting old too. She's about 42 years old now, if she's human.

6. Ate Jo and Randall are in the US now. Ang tuhray ng mag-asawa. haha. I can't wait to see their pictures. And that's why Cocoy's been bunking in with us for the past six days already. Hehe.

7. This is my favorite time of day. Russ and I call this, "tibi time" - a time when we can just watch TV all night and not worry about anything at all, except on which show to watch first :) I like the Home and Health channel. I like their "Human Stories" show -- all different stories about survival and grief among others. Russell likes to watch MMK and Pilipinas Got Talent. In fact, he's more updated than me when it comes to new Pinoy shows, i.e. "Mutya". hehe. As much as possible, I try to veer away from MMK -- the stories scare me. MMK is known for their stories about heartaches and griefs, and I'm not so prepared to spend my saturday night feeling very ill. :)

8. I check facebook before my email. And I love reading status. Some are corny quotes (which can be funny for being corny), some are pinoy cheesy quotes (goosebumps all over), and some are the most mundane things in this world (madami 'to). FB statuses are interesting :)

9. It's American Idol again. Season 10. And I got my bets already: Guy with funny coats, Paul Mcdonalds, the Filipina Thia, the nerdy Casey, and that pretty girl Pia. I sometimes do not get how J.Lo judges. "You look great, amazing, i love you, you know i love you". Ah eh?

10. Cocoy would ask me, "Tita ninang ja, ang basa dyan?" (showing me his transformers pillow). I'd say, "AU-TO-BOTS" (pointing my finger per syllable). Now when you ask him, "Cocoy, anong basa dyan?" He'd say, "AU TO BOTSSSS!" The little guy can now read! And when he sees letters in bold red, he'd say, VPR MARKETING! (very good! hehe)

Let me pass

I miss running.

**earth to bebs :)

Puck of Glee

I am currently watching Glee...

and Puck is singing...

and he's singing Lady Antebellum's

Need You Now

while strumming his guitar.

WOWWWW.

Why do men, who look like Puck, and sing like Puck,

are so eye candy? WHY?

I have a lot of friends whose "kiggle dream"

is to be sung to by their dreamboats

or by their boyfriends.

Playing the guitar can be a plus too.

Hmmm...

This evening, I was just watching Ito of Neocolors

belt out some originals on Youtube,

he was so great i found him cute.

Hehe.

This post seems to be a little girly for you, you think?

I think so too.

I can't help it.

Puck started it.

I don't really write like this, but, I guess,

babae pa rin pala ako!

(hehehe)

goodnight!

New Year Blog Entry.

Hello, happy new year...

So okay, I know I haven't written here for ages. I remember the times when there's always a fresh, daily issue here; when I couldn't start a day without signing in here and posting a new blog entry.

And there were also times when there was someone who always insisted to be a huge part of my entries; like he owned this blog or something like that. Or maybe he just didn't understand what the word "journal" means. Hmm..

And then, there were a lot of times when I wrote vaguely here and hoped that a blog like that could at least help me give words to certain things.

Anyway, that was that. And those were the days. What a way to begin my first blog for 2011! :D

News said there's an additional zodiac sign. I am a Libran, but now, I don't know if I'm still a Libran. I may be a Virgin now, but well, I was born a Libran. Would that mean I should possess the qualities of a Virgin now? So would that mean, I should now read the horoscopes from the Virgo zodiac sign? So, I am not compatible anymore with Aquarius or Gemini! (well, rcm is pisces anyway. hehe) Hehe. I am just thinking out loud.

There's flood left and right, not only in Southern Leyte, in Albay, in Zamboanga, in Cebu, there's flood in Australia and Brasil too. I am highly allergic to floods. They're a selfish calamity that takes away everything that you have and as it slowly subsides, your spirit kind of goes down the drain too. They may subside but you know they'll come back.

All sorts of news for the New Year. All crazy lucky and unlucky colors. But I won't go anywhere near that, i'm contented with my lucky jade and i'll stick to that :) Bukod dyan, kaliwa't kanan din ang krimen. It's only January and our country's already making the quota. Nakakabuwang diba, but it's more of a sad start. I still am affected by the tragic death of those construction workers in Makati. They were just working, trying to feed a family, send kids to school, and now, game's over. Give the grieving families all the support you can give them, but there's absolutely no way you can heal them. Ano bang problema ng mga project engineers? at ng mga may-ari ng mga building na ito?? Whatever happened to that big ole sign, "Safety First"?

They say you've got to find the beauty or the good thing even at most difficult times... but..

How? More faith perhaps?

Hmmm.. how about going onto the lighter side of life? or how about a recap of 2010. This is my opening salvo for 2011 anyway.

Well, my 2010 is a one-word wonder. hehe. it's "memorable". Haha! I feel so bagets with the word. But yep yep, 2010 is my hitmaker. If to be compared to a song, it's "VOGUE" by Madonna - a lot of snappy poses in one rhythm (paki ulit?).

But seriously, it's my three hundred and sixty five days of fulfilling and chasing more dreams -- a jumpstart to a wonderful journey ahead...yesss.... hehe.. Also, it's my twelve months of smiles; I got to meet more friends this year, not just acquaintances but real good friends, and I got to reunite with my bestys in HS and the krungs krungs in MC too :) . I absolutely look forward to more fun sessions this year.

Moreover, it's my eight thousand, seven hundred sixty hours of unconditional love to my very energetic nephew. My sister and I still do the "shifts". It's a fun part-time job. :) Speaking of work, 2010 was a year of achievement and growth. Though it was only a very small growth, I cannot help but feel fulfilled about it. We have a new baby at work and we're all excited in helping it grow strong. :) I guess 2011 is going to be more of a "push push push" year for us at work. But like I always say... "Come on Sun, show me what you've got!" So I don't really mind.

And then I got to complete the nine Misa de Gallo last year. For the third time.

And for the third time, I think one of my several petitions has been granted already. :)

They say time flies so fast. There are times when we feel like we are running out of time, or we feel like we cannot meet our deadlines anymore. But to really think about it, I think time is just the same when we were still kids. It's never been fast nor slow. It's just.... there...

I think it's us who are moving too fast, or pacing this world so slow. I think we've got lots of things in our hands that we're not sure we can carry them anymore; we don't stop to look at the things around us anymore. Can you still remember what your wife or husband wore yesterday? Yes, we've made this world move so fast. (that's why climates are changing too fast too!)

Well of course this isn't true for everybody. It's just my observation, but! the good thing about this, when there are things to do, and things to look forward to, the more I get nearer to the dream. And what can be more beautiful than that? :)

END!

Happy New Year Everyone, and happy heart's day in a couple of weeks too! :)

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