I'd like to say something

In a time when everything is in crisis,
or when everybody blames it on crisis,
I'd like to think, that in this world,
in this lifetime, there is that part in our hearts,
that even though small, there are still
simple joys we can draw strength from.

WB

I guess this is the best time to say so long...

to RAIN!

Happy summer everyone. Now everyone is saying, "ang init!" I say it too, but I am secretly loving the angry sun and that clear blue sky.

Welcome back Summer...

A Quote from BW

“It was quite a wedding and as I stood there watching I realized something I’d forgotten a long time ago. Sometimes in life there really are bonds formed that can never be broken. Sometimes you really can find that one person who will stand by you no matter what. Maybe you will find it in a spouse and celebrate it with your dream wedding. But theres also the chance that the one person you can count on for a lifetime, the one person who knows you sometimes better than you know yourself is the same person who’s been standing beside you all along.”

- Marion St. Claire (Bride Wars, 2009)

The movie is just an OK movie. I dont like the idea of best friends becoming rivals. Or maybe I am just not their target market. Nah!

You Lift It Up And Show It Around

..........

Your number one source of hope and your champion supplier of happy thoughts will not always be there to shower you with those.

Sometimes, believe it or not, tables will turn.

Your reliable source can also be your greatest source of pain.

And suddenly you will find yourself staring at nothing. For without it, you just don't know how to build your army of happy thoughts again. And well, wonder if you would ever have an army again soon.

.................

FB

Another Blah

It’s been a while.

Lying awake in bed at night is by far the most uncomfortable,

The most obnoxious, the most annoying

Experience for me.

I don’t know who and which is doing the nudging,

There are a lot of times when I mix up instinct with judgment,

Or when a little anxiety comes to life and consumes me,

Or when past rushes and meets the present,

Those things.

Hmmm.

I get by, sometimes after a few sessions of palpitations,

Sometimes after a constant exchange of sms with a friend,

Sometimes with a pillow under my feet and a blanket

All rolled up under my head.

I get by most of the time, because I try to.

I shrug and doodle and look away.

I get by and wait for the next day to arrive.

A friend once said, “wag na lang”.

I thought, “what a sad , sad statement”.

I used to say that often.

But I am a natural rebel, and a hard headed emotional,

Who draws strength from the weirdos and the

Beautiful songs of Christmas.

I hoard and preserve happy moments.

Those free spirits.

I lie awake at night, almost every night.

I put my pillow under my feet and stare at my

Dark ceiling, or fix my eyes to the black sky outside.

I lie awake, wait for sleep to come

And then thank JC for another beautiful day.

It’s been a while.

Brida Said,

"I need to believe in this presence. I dont know how to explain it, but it exists... And it will stay with me all night, because I dont know how to find my way out of here alone."

Ayos.

HNY

I had a great 2008.

And now I look forward for more great things this 2009.

Mars

This afternoon, before we closed, I saw that the sky was sort of pink orange...

Unusual, but definitely interesting and beautiful. It was bright pink with shades of dark orange, and then below it were the crazy, curly clouds...

I gazed at it for a while and thought, "This must be the work of the Sun beginning to set".

But really, the thought was, "The Sun must be in a swinggy mood today."

After all, everybody in Ubas St. is in their very festive mood.

The Sun might have felt it too, right?

(Too bad, i ddnt have my camera with me at work)

The Colorful Tree That Lights Up At Night

Whilst the darkness fills up my once blue sky,

you light up just like that;

and throw beautiful colors to the black earth.

You uplift the worn-out-for-the-day twirlie somehow.

jane doe

I wish to thank RJ of RJTV.

When I went out of my room this morning, I saw Jane from the other room. Her door was slightly ajar and I saw her looking intently on the TV screen. I could only see Jane's side view but I noticed a smile on her face. I could see her eyes getting chinky again from smiling. So I had to get a little closer.

And voila, Jane was watching Danny Osmond and Tom Jones on RJ TV! So that's why she was smiling. The song may have reminded her of her bagets days or even her colegiala days. I thought, "Wow, in a few years, when i'd have my own kids, I'd be like Jane also, secretly smiling and stealing some alone time."

It was pleasant to see Jane that way. Well, Jane is a bubbly lady, but most of the time, you'd see Jane busy with work and with her family. So really, having some quality time alone is something I rarely see Jane does.

And this is exactly why I want to thank RJ of RJTV.

I love seeing my mom super relaxed and just having some fine time.

=)

I Hope Always

Sometimes, I'd like to think it's just there, right across the street. And whenever you need and want it, you'd just walk over there; knock on its door, read a magazine on the patio while drinking lemonade; and well, just gaze at the bright blue sky and drink some more.

Sometimes, it's nice to think that way.

I guess so.

The truth is I gave my heart away a long time ago, my whole heart, and I never really got it back.

from Sweet Home Alabama.

There.

Whenever I read your letter, I feel so light
and happy and dreamy again, completely forgetting
that I am, well, not in my "swing out sister" mode...

However, after reading it, reality will sink in,
as if it punched me in my stomach,
making me throw up the "happy swing out sister" mode I felt moments ago.

The letter is from the past.
It won't ever come back.
It won't ever come true.

He said,

"I guess the ground can shift beneath your feet, sometimes your footing slips, you stumble and sometimes, you grab what is closest to you and hold on to that as tight as you can..."
- K.A.

You are holding on to that for too long now. Do you wish to loosen your grasp anytime soon?

HBD!

22... 23.... 24.... 25... 26..... 27!

Great oddballs.

Time does fly fast. But hoh noh, there is absolulely no room here for regrets, just high dosages of happy pills.

Ika nga ni Banana, "You should be dancing, cartwheels all around. You're 27 and still alive!" Hahahah.

I guess that's what will I be doing tonight! DANCE and DRINK and CELEBRATE!

Happy Birthday Janice M. Marasigan!!!

Bente Siete ka na!!! Let's put our hopes up this year!!!!! And I promise to do better!

Let's just go go go, love, love, love, live, live, live!!!!

Monologue Part I dont know

Bakit ba ganon? Kahit anong gawin mong paraan para makalimutan ang isang bagay, hinding hindi mo pa rin iyon magawa. Ilang beses ka na nangako, ilang beses ka na sumumpa na hindi mo na ito pag-uukulan ng pansin, pero bakit ganyan ka pa rin?

Ano pa ang hinihintay mo? Huwag mong pilitin ang ayaw, huwag mong pilitin ang mundo na umikot para sa'yo lang.

Kailan ka ba makakalimot? Kailan ka makakapagbago?

Motto of the season

Been a while...

Ang sabe nung pari nung linggo:

"Magtiyaga sa kasalukuyan, para maging masaya sa kinabukasan..."

Sige, sige, 'yan mismo ang gagawin ko Father, kahit mahirap, pero dahil malaki ang pananampalataya ko na may magandang future para sa aken, magtyatyaga muna ako ngayon.

Ano ba naman ang kaunting bitterness kung ang kapalit naman ay 'sangkatutak na happy pills?

Parallel Parking

I hardly parallel park. It’s intense, it’s crazy, it’s tricky.

Parallel parking requires approximation, which has to be near exact and near perfect -- making it seem like that space is totally meant for your car; like you own that space and that space belongs to you, and to you alone.

So this is why I hardly parallel park.

I barely make a space my own. In addition to this, I find it difficult to recall a time when a certain space is perfect and just right for me.

I sometimes go round and round the streets, wasting my gas, desperately searching for a little space that’s not challenging – a space that won’t demand much from my poor approximation skills.

I get lucky sometimes; I occasionally spot a space nice enough. However, as much as I want to make this space my own, some things get in the way -- things that are difficult to deal with and apparently menacing.

I don’t like that. I need a space that’s just right; that no matter how inexperienced I am in terms of parallel parking, that space still belongs to me and to me alone.

And this is why I hardly parallel park.

I cannot find my own perfect parking space.

jan and janice talking

While looking for a place to eat, Janice spotted some medical students in their usual all-white uniform.

“Jan, ano kaya kung mag-doctor ako?”

“O eh di siguradong macre-credit lahat ng subjects naten nung college!”

Jan and Janice took up Communication Arts and Advertising in MC six years ago. The only science subject they had was Biology, and it was only a minor subject.

Hmmm, should Janice pursue her dream of becoming a doctor, it would take her additional 8 to 10 years in school.

So Janice decided to drop the subject. She couldn’t and wouldn’t study that long again.

It’s just so long for her.

So what else could Jan and Janice do in their idle time? They don’t know yet.

They never liked idle time, especially Jan.

Idle time is for young adults.

360 Degrees

When you think all the things you want from this world are already within reach, think again.

There would be times when your supposed big leap would turn out to be a giant back step; Or when you thought you were right there, stepping on top of your big dream cloud, you'd suddenly feel a slow churn climbing up from the soles of your feet to the core of your heart; after a while, you would feel nauseated and would decide to come down from your dreamboat.

Or a very basic example like, one night, you prepared the clothes you would wear for work the next day, but morning came and then you decided to pick out a completely different wardrobe.

When your mind is set to doing something; when you are so focused on what you need to achieve and who you want to become; or when you believe that all certain things are right and perfect for you, why does, without any disclaimer at all, a feeling of doubt cross your little perfect world and disrupt you, one way or another?

Why the sudden revolution? Why the abrupt endings or the unexpected actions and super impulsive decisions? Why do they happen? Did we just wake up and find out that this was not healthy anymore? How can we ever cope up? And how can we know that this whole reinvention is best for us?

As for me, the feeling will either leave you with a big hole in your chest, making you so empty and sullen for disappointing yourself or the other people; or give you a taste of peace for freeing yourself from the trap you hardly knew you were in.

I learned that changes are bound to happen. It just depends on us; on how we are going to entertain or not entertain them. They bump into you because you may need more in your life, you may need growth. You may need to breathe a newer, fresher air.

We come down from our dreamboats from time to time. It’s not bad. It’s normal.

We change our minds. We change our lives. We change ourselves.

Guess no one stays the same after all.

END!