Too Gay?

I made my brother his yearbook write-up. He said it was too 'gay'. While my sister said it was too 'maarte' and 'pa-cute'. Here goes:

Ric is the garlic in garlic rice. Ric is the leche flan on top of your halo-halo. He is the sweetener of your coffee and that ice cube in your lemonade. In most cases, Ric is the bookmark residing in your thick Financial Accounting book or that stabilo in your knapsack’s pocket. Sometimes he is the ever reliable tissue paper lurking around San Beda. Ric always makes his presence felt wherever he goes; one trait which only a Ricbenson Marasigan is authorized to imbibe. He can even be that paper inside the waste bin or the Freon of Beda’s cooling system. Notice his significance, his worth in all facets of life. He conquers the living and non-living with his mere but authentic strides down the halls. Well, that’s Ric. He has definitely painted the walls of San Beda and yours too.

Hehe, ang bakla nga. Ginawa kong bakla si Bagets!